Journal Entry 6

Seen here in this photo is a butterfly on top of a hand. The hand belongs to Ridzuan, my friend and the butterfly belongs to nature of course. The outside part of the butterfly's wings are brown in colour whereas inside it is purple. This photo was taken on the fifth of February 2008 while I was on a camping trip at Gunung Nuang. It was a trip organized by the UNITAR Recreation and Adventure Club or better known as URAC. Almost forty UNITAR students took part in the 3 day 2 night expedition. I took the photo while we were on a break from the hike to our camp site. We were sitting beside a waterfall, quenching our thirst when a beautiful butterfly came out of nowhere and landed on Ridzuan's hand. It seemed not disturbed by the number of curious and amazed eyes concentrating on it, watching its every move. Ridzuan didn't dare to move his hand, afraid the butterfly would fly away. Amazingly, the butterfly did not budge and kept on slowly and gracefully flapping its wings until it was time for us to continue our journey to our camp site.

Child of Burning Time

I'm looking to the sky to save me,

Looking for a sign of life,

Looking for something help me burn out bright,

Fly along with me,

I can't quite make it alone,

Try to make this life my own.

All I need is a moment,

Chance to get away,

From the stressfulness of every day,

Know if I don't question,

And I never doubt,

Everything is going to be okay.

I need somebody, someone,

Can’t somebody help me?

All I need is to be,

Loved just for me.

Postcard poems (10/10/08)

Dancing in the Moonlight

Dancing in the moonlight,
the disco lights were burning bright,
everyone was drinking through the night,
some even got into a fight,
Do you remember that fateful night?
when we feast on the Thai delights.


My Guy

You were always have been a bubbly guy,
made everyone sing and smile,
with your perky cheaks and silly smile.

You came into my life without a single word,
you show me light when I'm in darkness,
to cherish life and all its wonders.

You are the wind beneath my wings,
and the source of my happy things,
thank you dear for all this years,
you have become my closest ones.

Lifestyle of the Rich and Famous

It is noon. The silence was broken by the sound of an antique clock chiming echoed through out the mansion. Outside, a pair of ducks was dancing in the pond, moving gracefully to the beautiful symphony of the birds. The smell of fresh cut grass still fills the air. But inside, the air was still. There is no one to be seen except for a woman with an unprecedented reputation. With her precious Persian cat she lies in bed, looking up to the ceiling and staring at the huge crystal chandelier, turned on. Designer clothes and shoes scattered around her. Pieces of broken glass were lying on the cold white marble floor beside her bed. Her diamond Blackberry was among that broken glass. On the wall, a partially cracked mirror was what’s left, hanging by a thread. The sound of running water was coming from the bathroom. The tap was left running in the bath tub. Water was pouring out rapidly and soaked the velvet red robe that was lying on the floor of the bathroom. Bottles of red wine and ammonia were seem to be the main theme of the bathroom. On the sink was an overturned pill container, cracked open, with her name on it. The container was empty.

My Early Readings

What word is this? How do I pronounce it? Maybe I should try spelling it first, just like mom taught me. K-E “ke”, R-E “re”, T-A “ta”, “kereta”. Oh, it’s a car. So that’s how it is spelled. She’s a good teacher, my mom. Not only because she’s a BM teacher but also because she’s a very patient teacher. She never gets angry or raised her voice whenever I say a word wrongly or ask stupid questions. I love you, mom. Thanks for everything. I have to prove to her that I can do this. I can read the newspaper on my own. How difficult can it be? All my friends can do it. Why can’t I? In fact I should do better than them. But I can’t challenge Zuhri. He’s way better than me. He just came back from Canada. After 3 years living there, he sounds like a real Canadian whenever he speaks English. He reads a lot of story books just like my sister. Enid Blyton and Christopher Pike were some of the collections that she has stored neatly on the shelf. How can I ever beat that? How can a newspaper spelling beginner like me stand up against a fairy-tale book reader like him? I never liked reading that much to be honest. I’m more into the visual and audio stimulated material like the television. I pick up anything I see or hear and try to mimic it. Transformers and Captain Power were some of my favourites. Autobots, transform – my favourite day dream quote. I also like Lat’s work. Thanks to my dad, Kampung Boy was my favourite. It reminds me of the days I had in my grandmother’s house in Kota Bharu. I could really relate to what Lat is trying to portray in his comic books. He uses simple words and really funny characters. Anyone could enjoy reading Lat’s comic books. Whether you are a 50 year old man that has his own big company or a little 7 year old boy who just started reading, you could instantly enjoy reading Lat’s work. 

The New Semester

I felt used, angry, betrayed and manipulated. I felt like a pawn in their selfish game. There's nothing I can do about it. I had no choice but to sit and watch helplessly as they toy us around like a little monopoly set. Those inconsiderate, white collar, corporate politician have no idea what they have done. Things have turned for the worst since they decided to change things. Don’t try to fix something that isn’t broken! It was all well in the land of the blue until they became greedy. They were not satisfied. They wanted more. I could have never imagined things would turn out to be like this when I stepped into this institution. I was hoping for a new beginning. A fresh start. A clean slate. But the signs were there from the beginning. It tried to warn me about the challenges that lie ahead. It tried to tell me that I was going to embark on a journey to a world of unknown where I would face my demons.